Weekend Update - Bob Winslow Edition

(On this day in 2008, Robert Winslow, Uncle Bob, passed away.  While on one hand it seems a lot longer than only 4 years, I still feel Uncle Bob's presence every day.  He's particularly close to me whenever I post something on this blog.  Sergeant Major Bob Winslow was, and still is, one of the most influential people in my life.  To mark this day as a special one, I sit here writing the 394th post on Bad Hat, something he and I created on the 4th of July, 2007.  It's all as he would have wanted.  To continue.  And to all the Marines out there, young and old, Happy Birthday and Semper Fi.  Uncle Bob, this one's for you.  And we digress ... )

• Well the election's finally over and the best man won.  But what the hell's happened to my beloved state of Oregon?  Washington, Oregon and Colorado all had measures that would legalize the possession of marijuana, and WA and CO passed, but the drunken red necks in OR voted it down.  What?!  Oregon is where old hippies go to die, fercrissakes.  Something is definitely amiss here, and I promise I'll get to the bottom of it as soon as I finish off this bag of Doritos. 
• Someone hacked into my bank card the other day, after I ordered some silly thing off the internet, and charged up about $300 worth of stuff before my bank called and alerted me.  After some investigation we discovered it was done by someone living in Florida.  Bank lady said she wasn't surprised.  Evidently a lot of illegal activity comes from Florida.  By the way, Florida finally declared Barack Obama the winner, which changes it from The Sunshine State, to The Irrelevant State.
• Good grief!  Talk about a sore loser.  Bad Hat's Asshole of the Month Award goes to the CEO of Murray Energy, a coal mining company, Robert Murray.  The day after the election, the chairman and chief executive of the Ohio-based coal company fired 54 employees at American Coal and 102 at Utah American Energy, but not before reading a prayer and telling workers that “the takers outvoted the producers.” Murray faulted Obama’s “war on coal.”  Mr. Murray's prayer (as he handed out pink slips to the employees) starts with this:  "Dear Lord, The American people have made their choice. They have decided that America must change its course, away from the principals [sic] of our Founders. And, away from the idea of individual freedom and individual responsibility. Away from capitalism, economic responsibility, and personal acceptance."  We congratulate Mr. Murray on his prestigious award.  Way to go, Asshole!
• Our sincere congratulations to new Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren, who won the election in spite of Ms. Warren’s opponent and his allies making repeated attempts to portray her as antibusiness.  Here's why her election is important to us all:  Click Here.
• From the I Hope She Was Worth It Department, we have this:  CIA Director David Petraeus abruptly resigned Friday after admitting to an extramarital affair in a shocking end to a 37-year career in which he rose to become the Army’s leading counterinsurgency strategist, the top U.S. commander in Iraq and Afghanistan and then head of the country’s premier spy agency.  They say he was among the top GOP prospects for a Presidential run.  Ah, the power of a little pussy.
• If you voted for Barack Obama for president, there's another sore loser in Texas who thinks you're "a maggot."  Peter Morrison, who serves as treasurer of the Hardin County Republican Party, wrote in his post-election newsletter: “We must contest every single inch of ground and delay the baby-murdering, tax-raising socialists at every opportunity.  But in due time, the maggots will have eaten every morsel of flesh off of the rotting corpse of the Republic, and therein lies our opportunity.”  He thinks Texas should leave the United States.  Our Hat is off to him, and we wish him all the best in his endeavor.
• Think about this one for a second.  Since President Roosevelt, no GOP presidential campaign has won the vote without a Bush or a Nixon on the ticket.  That gives us a scary thought:  Jeb Bush 2016?  Or even George P. Bush? And here's a little tidbit that just drives that point in deeper: Dubya Bush won a larger percentage of the Mormon vote than Mitt Romney did.  Really.  Let the nightmares begin ...