Sunday, July 19, 2009

Weekend Update - Sorry Edition



  • I did something really silly a couple months ago. Out of curiosity I signed up on this Facebook thing. I looked at it once, mind you, but now I get these E-mail notices every day that new people are becoming my "friend." People at work, people off the street, people I've never heard of before, I think. Pretty scary, and I wish it would stop, but I'm afraid of going back in and ending it all. Christ, I wouldn't want to offend anyone. And that's assuming I haven't already offended all those I've ignored to date, which I'm sure I have. So if you're thinking of becoming my newest Facebook "friend," sorry, please skip it. Get back to googling porn like you're suppose to. But Mark Morford gives me hope. Apparently you're limited to 5,000 friends on Facebook. He's made it, and I'm unfortunately on my way.

  • Thank God for god, without whom we'd have no one to ask for positive reinforcement and the all important "forgiveness." And the old imaginary diety is coming through once again for admitted adulterer playboy politician Mark Sanford, who just can't seem to shut the hell up. "It is true that I did wrong and failed at the largest of levels, but equally true is the fact that God can make good of our respective wrongs in life." Somehow comforting, ain't it?

  • Science News: Scientists have solved an Artic mystery. The Great Alaskan Blob is NOT Sarah Palin. (Okay, sorry, cheap joke, but it's an interesting story.)

  • The hearings were pure “Alice in Wonderland.” Reality was turned upside down. Southern senators who relate every question to race, ethnicity and gender just assumed that their unreconstructed obsessions are America’s and that the country would find them riveting. Frank Rich comments on the Sonia Sotomayor hearings.

  • It is absolutely, without argument, TIME (past time) to bring our troops home from the insanity of Afghanistan. Robert Gates wants one more year. Somewhere, the ghost of Robert McNamara is laughing.

  • And finally, with apology, I give you this one: Those purchasing a vehicle at Max Motors in Missouri will receive an AK-47 assault rifle with their purchase during the month of August. Now really, ain't that America? Aim, and squeeze here.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Weekend Update - 4th of July Edition




  • Your imminent apocalyptic death is just around the corner. It'll happen any minute now. No, really. Just ask Mark Morford.

  • In a really stunning political move, Sarah Palin has resigned as Governor of Alaska. But the big question is why. Some of us think it's because the heavy indictments are coming down the pike and she's getting packed to move to Russia. (A short U-haul trip from her front porch.) At any rate, something in all this is a bit spooky, mark our words. Here's the full text of Palin's very bizarre resignation speech.

  • The first thing you need to know about Goldman Sachs is that it's everywhere. The world's most powerful investment bank is a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money. Is Obama in Goldman Sachs pocket? Here's a must read article out of Rolling Stone Magazine by Matt Taibbi that should be on the front page of the NYT.

  • Jon Stewart points out that God killed Michael Jackson to let Mark Sanford off the hook. But Sanford can't stop treating the press and public like his private confessional.

  • Canada is independent of England, isn’t it? I think so. Not a bad society. Canadians have good health care. They have a lot of things we don’t have. They didn’t fight a bloody revolutionary war. Why do we assume that we had to fight a bloody revolutionary war to get rid of England? Howard Zinn offers a different and highly interesting take on the American Revolution.

  • Our friend Al Franken has finally won his senate seat in Minnesota. We knew it all along. And you know what else? Rush Limbaugh is STILL A Big Fat Idiot.

  • Jim Hightower: "Without agitators battling in politics, on the job, in the marketplace, for the environment, on Wall Street, in education, for civil liberties and rights, and all across our society, democratic progress doesn't just stall, it falls back." Happy 4th of July, from all us agitators.

  • Note to Conservatives: President Obama, the Democratic Congress, and the federal government are evil. They already have too much power and want to take even more control over your life. They're out to take away your guns, liberty, freedom, paycheck, and perhaps your mother's apple pie! Worse yet, now they want to count you. Have they no shame? But the Right has a super-secret plan. Oh yes. They do.