Weekend Update - 4th of July Edition

• Your imminent apocalyptic death is just around the corner. It'll happen any minute now. No, really. Just ask Mark Morford.


• In a really stunning political move, Sarah Palin has resigned as Governor of Alaska. But the big question is why. Some of us think it's because the heavy indictments are coming down the pike and she's getting packed to move to Russia. (A short U-haul trip from her front porch.) At any rate, something in all this is a bit spooky, mark our words. Here's the full text of Palin's very bizarre resignation speech.


• The first thing you need to know about Goldman Sachs is that it's everywhere. The world's most powerful investment bank is a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money. Is Obama in Goldman Sachs pocket? Here's a must read article out of Rolling Stone Magazine by Matt Taibbi that should be on the front page of the NYT.


• Jon Stewart points out that God killed Michael Jackson to let Mark Sanford off the hook. But Sanford can't stop treating the press and public like his private confessional.


• Canada is independent of England, isn’t it? I think so. Not a bad society. Canadians have good health care. They have a lot of things we don’t have. They didn’t fight a bloody revolutionary war. Why do we assume that we had to fight a bloody revolutionary war to get rid of England? Howard Zinn offers a different and highly interesting take on the American Revolution.


• Our friend Al Franken has finally won his senate seat in Minnesota. We knew it all along. And you know what else? Rush Limbaugh is STILL A Big Fat Idiot.


• Jim Hightower: "Without agitators battling in politics, on the job, in the marketplace, for the environment, on Wall Street, in education, for civil liberties and rights, and all across our society, democratic progress doesn't just stall, it falls back." Happy 4th of July, from all us agitators.


• Note to Conservatives: President Obama, the Democratic Congress, and the federal government are evil. They already have too much power and want to take even more control over your life. They're out to take away your guns, liberty, freedom, paycheck, and perhaps your mother's apple pie! Worse yet, now they want to count you. Have they no shame? But the Right has a super-secret plan. Oh yes. They do.