Remembering Dad

A note to all of us from Uncle Bob's son, Steve. Thanks Steve.

To all who have not heard or have been waiting for more information about my father, I apologize for taking so long to write with the word. Dad died of complications from congestive heart failure on November 10. The obituary/tribute published in the Eugene Register-Guard can be found at: Register-Guard Tribute

Dad went from his last hospital stay in late September directly to home hospice care, a decision that turned out to be right for everyone. He was in familiar surroundings with his family when the end came. During his last week it seemed that his mind was ready but that his heart just wouldn’t let go. That his heart would hold out until the birthday of the Marine Corps seems only fitting.

Dad requested no special ceremony, but Dorothy, my sister Chris and I know that he would appreciate a gathering of family and friends to celebrate his life. The tentative date for that is looking like next June 6 or 7, which is the best time for children and grandchildren to travel to Eugene. We will finalize the exact date and location for the gathering and get the word out well in advance. Everyone is welcome. Dad’s remains were cremated at Rest-Haven cemetery in Eugene and we have decided on a plot where his ashes will be interred next June. The site will be a short distance from the gravesites of his parents.

For now, Dad’s ashes reside in a place of honor at Chris’s home in Orange. Last week Chris and I took him on his final road trip to southern California, his favorite winter vacation spot since he moved back to Eugene, and where he was stationed for most of his military career. For Chris and me, it brought back childhood memories of almost nonstop cross-country auto trips that happened with every change in Dad's duty station— a part of every military family’s life.

With cousin John’s help, Chris and I were able to load and transport by U-Haul his much-loved but heavy player piano to her home in Orange. It was a back-breaking, finger-smashing act of love and Dad would have been proud of us for the effort. It will remain in Chris’s home and will always bring back memories of Dad and his quaint and slightly peculiar renditions of the oldies.

As many of you know, Dad worked intermittently on his memoirs over the past several years and shared drafts and final chapters with family and friends. I'm not sure that he ever considered any chapter "final" since he would update or change some of the story as he remembered or was reminded of other events or facts. At least one chapter circulated anonymously through the internet and landed on a Marine tribute web page. Dad contacted the web site manager with the intention of having him remove it, but eventually agreed to allow posting that would attribute him as the author. However, it still incorrectly indicates that it is an excerpt from the book “Wake Island.” Even if you read just a few paragraphs I think you’ll agree that he was a skilled and engaging narrator.

I have inherited Dad’s electronic and hard copy files and plan to consolidate and publish his memoirs for all who are interested. In time, I intend to build a web page that will post the final version and also try to honor in some small way all of the Wake Island Defenders. Unfinished and more personal chapters will probably remain unpublished.

We were surprised to recently discover that Dad was interviewed as part of the Veterans History Project. As was his way, he apparently failed to mention the interview to anyone and was surprised that it was available on line when we showed it to him last month. His videotaped story (88 minutes long) can be watched here.

Here are a few random thoughts about Dad’s character and worldview. He lived through and directly experienced nine decades of astounding world events and change: the Great Depression and its poverty, World WWII combat and imprisonment, Vietnam. The severity of those experiences had to shape his thinking, but Dad would admit that there was a lot that was already “built in” at birth. He was an innate skeptic who constantly questioned all beliefs, including his own. Some of his greatest heroes were freethinkers and philosophers and he would quote them freely and indeed did believe that “man is the measure of all things” and that “the unexamined life is not worth living.” He strongly believed that mankind should use reason and science to solve the world’s problems and that supernatural or superstitious explanations of natural phenomena should be abandoned. As everyone who met him soon found out, his political views were liberal and his attitudes toward using military force and war to resolve problems were pacifistic. He was appalled by the idea of “pre-emptive” or “preventative” war. His objectivity and sense of fairness toward others would often override his personal interest. Despite being a prisoner of the Japanese, he did not harbor bitterness against the Japanese people for the rest of his life as many of his comrades did. Later in life he would disagree that the U.S. needed to use nuclear weapons on Hiroshima and Nagasaki to force the Japanese to surrender earlier. He believed this even though he knew he would not have survived another winter in Japan if the war had gone on that much longer.

Regarding faults, Dad would be the first to acknowledge that he had many. Put as diplomatically as possible, he didn’t always do a good job of sustaining and balancing the give-and-take necessary to make a relationship work over the long run. He was a gentleman, but as someone very close to him recently told me, he was also “quite a rascal” at times. The wonderful women who shared their lives with him have my admiration and respect for trying to look beyond his faults and for loving him for his outstanding qualities, including his charity and generosity toward others, his altruism, and keen intellect. As time goes on, I know it will be for these qualities that he will be most remembered.

Thanks for remembering Dad with me.

Steve Winslow