Sister Sarah

The "choice" of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as John McCain's running mate certainly had the effect of capturing a news cycle, but not in quite the way Senator McCain may have hoped for. Comments from observers ranged from "bold" to "a Hail Sara pass", many analysts suggesting that McCain was so cowed by the success of the Democratic Convention that he felt driven to make his choice of Vice President an unusually bold and attention-getting one. In that he succeeded. What he also seems to have done is leave many of his allies open-mouthed and unable to find anything coherent to say, since they did not know anything about her. The days when a "Dark Horse" candidate could be seen as a bold move probably went out during the second term of Teddy Roosevelt. The cautionary example of Thomas Eagleton, a first-term Senator chosen at the last minute as his running mate by George McGoven in 1972, should serve as a modern-day cautionary tale as to the pitfalls of tapping an attractive young political one does not know very well.

In Eagleton's case it was a prior history of mental illness and electro-shock therapy. In case anyone imagines that no candidate would think to leave out damaging information during the vetting process for them to be considered as a Vice Presidential running mate I have but two words. John Edwards. Edwards choice of mistress was a lady of erratic temperament that he did not know prior to the campaign. Nor did she conveniently have a cooperative husband, something that proved to be so helpful when Prince Charles needed a romantic outlet. Edwards imagined that he could cat around a bit and there would be no consequences. And that sort of illusion seems to be common among political figures. Most of the time they probably do get away with it, but when they aspire to be President or Vice President the level and intensity of public and press scrutiny soars. Old friends and enemies who had elected to keep quiet about an individual's past misdeeds suddenly have an attack of public citizenship, in some cases with a substantial financial reward from journalistic icons like The National Enquirer, who freely admit that they pay rather generously for a really juicy story. How generously? Try a hundred to two hundred and fifty thousand dollars and even more on occasion. Have you ever been to Alaska? I can promise you, as lovely an area as it is, many Alaskans would sell their grandmother for a hundred grand and try to cut a side deal for granddad at the same time.

As best anyone is able to determine, John McCain met Governor Sarah Palin "once or twice" prior to selecting her to be his running mate. Political figures in Alaska were stunned at her pick, noting that no one in Alaska had been interviewed about her in advance. It would also appear that no one in the McCain campaign even bothered to do a search on Google.

Perhaps McCain was just so impressed by Palin's appearance in Vogue Magazine's "The Governor Issue" he has seen and heard all that he needed to know? I mean, when you compare a hottie like this with Tim Pawlenty, Mitt Romney or Joe Lieberman? Is there seriously any comparison?

Seriously, at a time when our country has two ongoing wars in progress, neither with a clear path toward resolution by any measure, commitments that are straining our military forces and bleeding our treasury by $12 Billion dollars a month, economic woes, a budget deficit that has swollen to $600 Billion for 2009 and with our international standing at an all-time low, the choice of a running mate can only call for one thing: a hottie. Seriously, my friends, this is a time when Americans have turned into a nation of whiners because they are losing their homes, their jobs, their savings, their ability to pay their bills and feed their families. It is a time of malaise, when something dramatic is needed to lift Americans' spirits. The answer? Vice President Hottie! And that pesky stuff about abuse of power? Heck, Americans have never cared about THAT stuff. They want a Vice President who knows how to shoot a moose! If Sarah Palin had been hunting with that attorney in Texas, she wouldn't have just wounded him, she'd have finished him off with one shot! That's the decisive approach Americans are crying out for.

And that story about Palin not actually being the mother of the child with Downs Syndrome, that actually being her oldest daughter's child? Pshaw, that's all a family thing. The American people and The National Enquirer would NEVER be interested in that story! Maybe so, but here's a hint. This photo was taken when Palin was supposed to be six months pregnant. Remember what I said about politicians imagining they can hide parts of their personal life and no one will find out? I give it until the end of September to all come unraveled. Maybe sooner. Looked at in one way, on that day our entire nation will have ducked a bullet, not just a fortunate moose. And as an example of John McCain's first Presidential decision I'm not sure he even warrants a grade. Instead it confirms the skepticism of all of his colleagues who believe he is not suited to the job. Oddly, one of Governor Palin's colleagues was so nonplussed at the news that McCain had selected her that all he could say was, "Well, I guess she is born in this country and is forty-four, so I guess she legally qualifies".

Among the ringing endorsements of history, that surely must be the most measured.

Arthur