Ann Coulter Does Not (Heart) Huck

(This column was sent to me by Arthur last month, but it got lost in the mail. I print it now because it's still relevant. The links he sent me have "expired," so we added our own. My apologies to Arthur. JP)

I continue to be fascinated by the vitriol (whatever that is) that Mike Huckabee seems to generate in the dark hearts of Republican pundits. As he "Oh shucks" his way up in the polls the pundocracy is starting to tumble out of their dark coffins to attempt to tear him a new asshole. Or two. The latest is Ann Coulter, that flower of Family Values and Civil Discourse whose path to success is based on the premise that if a girl talks nasty enough she is going to get noticed. But even for a nasty piece of work like Ms Coulter, these two pieces are just wonderfully froth-mouthed. What do sodomy, Darwin, Mexicans, religion and public life have to do with one another? I read these rants and I can't even figure out what she is talking about, but even the uninitiated like myself can get a pretty clear sense that she does not like Mike Huckabee. At all. Not the right kind of Republican. Not a REAL Republican, it would seem. Not nasty enough, not as sharp and nasty-tongued as she would like, not as clear on what those pesky Sodomites are up to these days, not as interested in invading bedrooms as Coulter appears to think government oughta be doing, at least when they aren't busy stamping out Darwin's Theory and those pesky Global Warming jerks.

So what is it about Huckabee? Coulter hates him. Fox News thinks he is a hayseed. Rush Limbaugh thinks he is a jerk. The Wall Street Journal thinks he is wishy-washy. The Club for Growth is taking out a half million dollars of ads to paint him as a tax and spender. The Catholic League thinks he is anti-Catholic. Next week the Pope is probably going to condemn him from the balcony of the Vatican, and what next? He wins Iowa?

I think Huckabee is the false smiley face of Evangelicalism, rabid and delusional Pastor first, politician second. I see no place for him in our national government and it creeps me out to see him even running. But he certainly is opening up fissures in the Republican base, isn't he? Who knew that one anti-Darwinist could be so angry at another anti-Darwinite? Who knew that sodomy was going to become a hot-button issue in a Primary Campaign? Is that one of the most important issues facing our nation and our people? Seriously? Are these people nuts?

Arthur