My conservative friend sent me a note recently gloating over the fact that Eugene's only liberal talk radio station is having financial woes. KOPT has ceased all local programming, fired it's seasoned news staff, and is threatening to become a "jazz station," or something silly. While it still carries Air America programming, my friend sees this downsizing as a sign that even in "the People's Republic of Eugene," conservatism is winning. Below, an open letter to my friend:
Amazing, you can't even sell this crap to a sufficient audience in the People's Republic of Eugene.
Yep, I'm beginning to think you're right. I have been wrong about everything. Liberals are just idealistic dreamers who worship Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez. George Bush is an honorable and deep-thinking man who has only the best interests of ordinary Americans like you and me. Anyone who thinks otherwise is just, well, anti-American. We as patriotic Americans must stop listening to subversive dissenting opinions. It only rots our collective mind. Surely there are more important topics to listen to, such Barry Bond's home run record or Paris Hilton's lack of underwear. People with little or no money to spend on the important things in life are not worthy of having opinions, for they have no real control over anything in our lives anyway. Only George Bush, Dick Cheney, Alberto Gonzonles, Sam Walton, and Rupert Murdoch know what's good for us. Anyone who tries to say anything different is full of, as you so eloquently put it, crap.
Thank you, (name withheld), for bearing with me all this time. I have finally seen the light of robotic acceptance of my place in our society. I must merely work, pay my taxes, and keep my mouth and mind shut tight. The fact that my country's constitutional foundation is being weakened and destroyed, much like my country's purposely underfunded infrastructure that's crashing down on a weekly basis, no longer concerns me. It's not my problem. How stupid of me to think of the near half a trillion dollars spent on the fiasco in Iraq as a squandering waste of our county's life blood. I know now my duty. Salute the flag. Pledge allegiance. Sing the anthem. Repeat the mantra. Illegal aliens bad. Abortion bad. Support the troops. "Climate Change." Surge. Trust. Pray.
Is there a NASCAR race on TV tomorrow? I hope so.
Love, JP
In Memorium
4 months ago
3 comments:
Why is this so startling? Could it be possible that the progressive community in demographically tiny Eugene has better things to do than sit on their asses and listen to echo-chamber talk radio? Particularly since many of them would rather (a) listen to music, or (b) do something, as contrasted to those who (c) enjoy having Lush Rimjob and his ilk playing continually in the background as a gnarly type of aggro-muzak? It is also important to remember that progressives are far more likely to know how to read, and to find ways to get their news and opinions from the myriad sources of written information available, rather than needing an info-tainer to sputter at them for numerous hours a day while they drive around shouting "Amen!" and "Damn them Meskins!" in a manner remininiscent of the "sing and response" of a black Southern church, lacking only the musical aspect of that tradition.
It is also important to recall that God must have loved mental troglodytes, for she made ever so many of them. Her ways are mysterious. Why did she, does she, love them so? I believe it is a test of character. What avails it if progressives become no more than the anti-O'Reilly? Would that not signal the triumph of passivity? We each have the opportunity of crafting our own opinion, our own passionate beliefs, our own music, our own world. As Will Rogers eloquently put it, "No, I don't belong to any organized political party, I'm a Democrat". Lock-step discipline is for locked-down minds and sequestered hearts. Chaos and obnoxious individualism are our birthright as Americans. The revolution will not be podcast. Though parts of it will be fun to dance to.
Arthur
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