It's a Lot Easier to Understand If You're Stoned

Just turned 71 the other day.  I can't seem to find any significance for this age; there are no "Happy 71!" birthday cards on the shelf down at the Bi-Mart; no rude T-shirts "I'm 71 and You Suck" advertised anywhere; so I just let it happen, calmly.  Didn't actually even think about what day it was until around 10 A.M., when someone wished me a happy one.  At any rate, what I did at 71 was, I became a farmer.  Here in Oregon, the powers-that-be decided that marijuana wasn't all THAT bad, and basically legalized the damn thing, with some restrictions. The Wife's medical problems have been documented here before, and MY health problems are known to those of you who need to know, and, well, marijuana has been advertised in many places as the antidote to pain and other symptoms.  So we thought, what the hell. She jumped through the required bureaucratic hoops and acquired a MMC, a Medical Marijuana Card, and I obtained an MMP Caregiver card which allows me to purchase medical marijuana without paying the 25% Oregon tax on recreational marijuana.  All good (and I will document the benefits in another column).  But the cool part of this is the farming.  We have purchased our own plant, with more on the way. We transplanted her into a really nice large pot and put her into the greenhouse, got some grow lights, and named her "Calliope."  I am now Gentleman John, Farmer. Calliope and I talk every morning, and she's just now beginning to bud.  Since she's a "Sativa" plant, we won't be getting too ripped by smoking her, her CBD output is much higher than her THC, but she will be making us feel better.  Which is what it's all about in the first place, right? For those of you who read me as regularly as I post who are saying "well, if he's stoned, why should I believe him?"  Ask yourself this question: "What?"  But I digress . . .

• So, getting stoned seems to be a perfect antidote to American politics at this stage of the game. We have this Trump fellow who is trying mightily to outmaneuver this Cruz fellow on the Republican side (I know I didn't mention Kasich, calm down), and and Bill Clinton's wife Hillary is constantly debating Bernie Sanders on the Democratic side. But the really fun part of this dog-and-pony show is watching the collapse of the Grand Old Party. It has begun with the 40 or so members of Congress, who call themselves "The Freedom Caucus," which is made up of T-party Republicans who demand to get their way even if it means shutting down the entire government.  They're the ones responsible for ouster of Crying John Boehner, and the rise of Ted Cruz. They want, amongst other things, to dismantle government health plans, to balance the national budget with huge spending cuts, and, of course, completely defund Planned Parenthood. Oh, and did I mention they want to overturn every Obama executive order of the last 7 1/2 years? They love Cruz because he's the poster-boy of the T-baggers whom the good old boys despise, and they're doubtful of Trump because of his past leanings and utterances concerning abortion, and the second amendment, among other things. These idiots are the malignant mass of the body republican, and when the GOP finally self terminates, and it will soon, they will splinter off and form their own party. Only remains to be seen what they will call themselves.  Fascists?  God's Chosen?  God help us all.
• McDonald's in Japan has begun serving a new hamburger named "Giga Big Mac," which consists of the usual condiments and FOUR beef patties.  They are quoted as saying the massive treat is "meant to be shared."  (Isn't that sweet?)
• Some of us are old enough to remember the release of the so-called "Pentagon Papers," which exposed truths concerning the Vietnam War and contributed to an abrupt end to the Nixon administration.  But now we have "the Panama Papers," which threaten to expose how heads of state, oligarchs, and other celebrities launder money, escape sanctions, and worse of all, avoid paying taxes.  This was not done by WikiLeaks or Edward Snowden or any of the usual suspects, but by a German newspaper.  Who does this report implicate?  Among others the list includes President Assad of Syria, Prime Minister David Cameron's late father, and Icelandic Prime Minister Sig Gunnlaugsson.  This just reinforces our long-time belief that rich and powerful people have found ways to rip all the rest of us off by manipulating the system in their favor.  (Lemme hear ya say "Go Bernie!)  Reports say that between 2004 and 2013 developing and emerging economies lost almost $8 Trillion to these bastards.  Not shocked and surprised?  Me neither.
• Saw our girl Sarah Palin the other day on the teevee.  She was in fine form as usual, unzipping the fly of her mouth and exposing her uglies in front of an audience in Wisconsin on the night before the primaries. It was at the local American Serb Hall, and the gibberish coming out of her mouth hole was so incomprehensible that people were giggling and talking to each other. Noticing the response, Palin suddenly said "It's not something to laugh at, friends."  Sarah used to be the Donald Trump of the Republican Party.  Now she's just pathetic.
• White Supremacists for Trump!  Former KKK leader David Duke has endorsed Donald Trump, saying "voting against Donald Trump at this point is really treason to your heritage."  "Your," one would assume, would be white christian people.  Duke said this in spite of Trump's apparent support for the State of Israel, which David Duke has a tremendous snit for.  (Among other things)  Bad Hat salutes David Duke for being a genuinely consistent asshole for most of his adult life.
• Oregon, and the Willamette Valley in particular, have enjoyed beautiful spring weather the past few days, and we've all been digging in the dirt and falling asleep with a brandy in our hands, in lawn chairs, in the late afternoon, listening to Pink Floyd, and letting Dave Gilmour's talented fingers take us to the next dimension.  Oh, that reminds me, I've got to go water Calliope.  Party on People!

Love, JP