Update: Suffering the Insufferables

(May I suggest there are few things in this wonderful world that are more frustrating than to be laid up with a bad back during the last few fleeting days of summer.  A reoccurring old war-wound-type back injury flared up several days ago, turning the right side of my lower back into a screaming smorgasbord of sciatic nerve pain.  Hurt least when I was lying straight out on a heating pad, but I kept spilling my brandy that way so I suffered by sitting up in Greatgrandpa's recliner.  Brandy helped a bit too.  When I get in this condition, there's not much I can do except wait it out bravely for several days, complaining loudly, and ordering the family minions to fetch this and that while I catch up on every conceivable sporting event I can find on the wide-screen.  Have I ever told you how much I hate watching golf?  At any rate, I'm currently a bit better.  At least I can stand straight up and walk fairly normally without acting like I had baring-down pains.  Thanks for all the get-well cards, I appreciate the thoughts.  But I digress ...)

• While I was reclining with my bad back last week I did manage to watch most of the Democratic Convention and I actually found it entertaining and inspiring.  I knew President Obama's speech would be a good one; that man couldn't give a bad speech if he tried.  But his wife's was even better than his.  And then there was Bill "Big Dog" Clinton, and his ARITHMETIC.  All together, the convention was pretty much as advertised.  The Republican Convention in comparison resembled a backyard party in support of local school board candidates.  Without arithmetic.
• After the DNC, the Republicans had little to say as they nervously attempted to fact-check everything they could find to little avail.  In desperation, FOX News? did a little arithmetic of their own and discovered that ohmygod while the god-loving Republicans had mentioned GOD 12 times at their convention, the godless Democrats had only mentioned god ONCE! during theirs.  And not only that, the heathen lefties had never even ONCE mentioned the fact that Jerusalem is the capital of Israel.  This is clearly the stuff of legendary conspiracy theories.   And this is clearly an impeachable offense on someones part.  Mark Morford gives us this must-read report on this travesty of biblical proportion. "God the Unsufferable Jerk"
• And speaking of insufferable jerks, pardon the awkward segue, we proudly give our Bad Hat Religious Asshole of the Month Award once again to Florida pastor Terry Jones.  You remember Terry, I'm sure, as the douche-nozzle who in spite of pleas from very important people with brains, felt christian-like and burned a Koran which inspired a deadly attack and violent protests across Afghanistan in March of 2011.  Well now it seems that our Terry is promoting a movie called "Innocence of Muslims," a movie so offensive to area Muslims that they felt it necessary to storm the U.S. Embassy in Cairo, and riot in Libya, and do all the other religiously indignant things indignantly religious people usually do in times like these.  And all this in spite of the fact that the State Department had attempted before the rioting began to defuse the situation by practically condemning the movie.  And to make this story all the more interesting, Sir Mitt the Lion-hearted raised his well-coiffed head and bellowed indignantly about how the Obama administration was siding with the Muslim terrorists and then a U.S. Ambassador was killed and ... well, we'd just like to shove this award up Terry Jones' cheese-hole and go back to bed.
• Oh, and could someone help me out here?  What exactly IS a Reince Priebus?
• But back to the Mittstir, you gotta love his spunk.  Behind in the polls, at times the punchline for new political cocktail party jokes, he still has time to be even more of an insensitive (insert expletive of your choice here) when it comes to gay people. For example, here's a quote from a recent meeting Romney had with David Wilson and Julie Goodridge, two of the plaintiffs whose case led to the legalization of marriage equality in Massachusetts:  Goodridge asks Romney  "Governor Romney, tell me — what would you suggest I say to my 8 year-old daughter about why her mommy and her ma can’t get married because you, the governor of her state, are going to block our marriage?"  Okay, pretty pointed question, but still, you gotta love his response:   "I don’t really care what you tell your adopted daughter."  I'm almost surprised he didn't cough up a wad of phlegm and spit it at her feet.
• If you ever are in need of a good laugh, join about a million true believers who each morning tune in to Fox and Friends, possibly the most outrageously inaccurate news program in the history of broadcast journalism.  Co-hosted by three doofusses, including one named Steve Doosey, er, Doocy, this electronic monument to inanity is famous for once claiming that then-Senator Barack Obama had attended a radical Islamic madrassa when he was a child in Indonesia.  Here's ten more of this incredible FOX program's embarrassing screw-ups CLICK HERE.   
• For further proof that Conservatives hate truth (or "facts"), the Republican-leaning web site RedState.com is considering banning any of its users who dare to use a fact checker when arguing talking points.  No, really.  "Mitt Romney created 100 million jobs as Gov of Massachusetts. Disagree? YOU'RE BANNED!"  Don't you just hate it when they fact check you?  I know I do ...
• Remember when Glenn  Beck famously compared President Obama and his policies to a Marxist heroin dealer and "the heroin that he is pushing is government."  That was a good one, and heaven knows we sure miss Glenn, but we've all known about the "vast left wing media" conspiracy, haven't we?  Well, apparently it's working.  According to loyal Romney aides, Mitt is lagging behind in the polls because of the unfavorable media attention he's been getting.  Is it too late to say we're sorry?