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Weekend Update - News From Planet Republican
(Hurdling rapidly toward retirement mode here. I shall be among the hardcore unemployed on March 15th. Why March 15th? I don't know, there's just something appealing about the Ides of March, don't you agree? Just thought I'd check in and see what's happening with those wacky Republicans. Let's digress together, shall we?)
- First off, let's consider the funniest guy on the podium this week, Little Ricky "Please Don't Google Me" Santorum. Ricky is perhaps the most insanely pious of all the Bible-thumping preachers running the Republican show this time around. Recently, after warning of the dangers of “the NBA” and “rock concerts,” Ricky proceeded to excommunicate 45 million Christians from "the world of Christianity." Wow, what a guy!
- A Roman Catholic Bishop, a Lutheran Reverend, a rabbi and two male professors walk into a Republican congressional hearing on birth control. Start of a bad joke? Well yeah, you could say that. Read it here.
- “Back in my day, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly,” chortle chortle. Get it? See, if the gal hold an aspirin between her knees while she's on a date, she can't spread her legs for sex. Cheap contraceptive, see? Billionaire mega-funder to Rick Santorum Foster Friess embarrassing old guys all over America. Chortle chortle.
- Mitt Romney once drove his family from Boston to Canada with their Irish setter, Seamus, in a carrier strapped to the roof of the car. (“Dad, gross!” one of his sons cried, as he saw diarrhea sliding down the back window.) Mitt insists to this day that the dog enjoyed his ride. But now we get to the backlash. Dogs are against Mitt Romney!
- Weird Christian-based Republican lead legislation in Virginia. Earlier this month, a bill requiring women to receive an ultrasound before they can receive an abortion passed the Virginia senate, and it recently cleared a state house committee with an overwhelming majority. To quote this article "Simply put, it is difficult to distinguish a law requiring women to be vaginally penetrated by a long metal object from state-sponsored rape. Worse, discussions among lawmakers leave little doubt that its supporters understood just what they were trying to write into law — they just didn’t care. As an unnamed lawmaker told a fellow Virginia delegate, a woman already consented to being 'vaginally penetrated when they got pregnant.'" Lord save us from people like this.
2 comments:
"Simply put, it is difficult to distinguish a law requiring women to be vaginally penetrated by a long metal object from state-sponsored rape."
Well now editor in chief, let me start by stealing a phrase from your Bayer Aspirin bit, “Excuse me, I'm just trying to catch my breath from that, 'Dr. Perry', frankly,”
Why have you entered into this insane abortion debate anyway?
Where do we begin and end the never ending abortion story? Let's start with how abortion is performed, OK?
Suction abortion is most common where a long metal object is inserted into the blah, blah and blah.
Next common is D&C " the doctor inserts a curette, a loop-shaped steel knife, into the womb through the dilated cervix."
And then we have DILATION AND EVACUATION. I will send you pictures of this ugly abortion procedure my friend.
Of course there's the 'less' invasive (SALINE INJECTION)
the second most common method of inducing abortion and is usually used after sixteen weeks. The doctor inserts a long needle through the mother's abdomen and injects a saline solution into the sac of amniotic fluid surrounding the baby and you can imagine the rest of this story.
Your little abortion snippet contains typical liberal arguments that eliminate half the story and thus the true facts become invisible. An abdominal ultrasound can detect a viable heartbeat and fetus photo at 6 weeks so why would a female be required to have an invasive vaginal ultrasound? The Virginia Law says no such thing is required.
I assume that these Virginian republican folk are playing on that silly motherly instinct whereby if the lady hears the heartbeat and sees the fetal image she would change her mind about having the above invasive treatments performed on her.
At the same time I am forever dumb struck by the logic of the pro-abortion crowd and their anti capital punishment stance vs. the pro-life folk and their hang'em high capital punishment regimen.
May the Fourth be with you during your eternal weekend.
Gawdluvya my friend
Now hold on there a minute Shagnasty. "Pro-abortion crowd?" And topping it off with the capital punishment argument? Lordy. You should be ashamed for stooping that low to make a very weak point.
First of all, no one I know, even me, is "Pro-abortion." Labeling people is dangerous, you above all people should know that. I am for a woman's right to chose what's best for her own body, including, sadly, terminating a pregnancy. Read Roe vs Wade again, son. It's the law.
And being an atheist I have to force myself to adhere to my own morals and principles, without the fear of burning for all eternity in a fiery pit. Tell me Jon, what's wrong with the logic here? I believe in a woman's right to choose, and I don't believe capital punishment is a deterrent. But if I did feel the death penalty was warranted in some particular case, I would have no problem saying so. That's called freedom of thought. What Republicans seem to be trying to do is control and regulate our thoughts. I'll have no part of it. It's shameful and hypocritical.
Now go back to whatever it was you were thinking ...
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