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Weekend Update - Sitcom Campaign Edition
(Know what I find amazing about the newspaper that magically appears on my doorstep every morning before dawn? well I'm going to tell you. All the news that happens every day just happens to fit neatly right into that paper. Yep. No more, no less. It's amazing. And the stories. Oh the stories. Like today for instance. In just a quick scan of a few minutes this morning we read of a bar in Paris that the owner has turned into some kind of shrine to Jim Morrison and The Doors, and who is now being sued by a Beverly Hills attorney who warns in a letter that "The Doors do not want to be seen as having approved of your establishment and also the consumption of alcohol." We all know Morrison didn't approve of the consumtion of alcohol, don't we? I also learned that drug lords in Mexico have taken to wearing Polo shirts, and now all the street venders are selling them like hot tacos to everyone. We all want to look like a Mexican drug lord, don't we? And I also read that Tony Packo's, the corner bar in Toledo, Ohio that Max Klinger on M.A.S.H. said was the best place in the world to go for a Hungarian hot dog, might close down over some family financial dispute. I hope it doesn't. Where then would we go to find the best hot dog in the world? Feel free to E-mail me with your suggestions. But I digress ... )
- I suppose we're required by the First Law of Tabloid to start out with at least one more reference to poor Anthony Weiner, who allow me to point out, has hurt no one with his shenanigans, with this article. It shows the silly so-called shocking picture of Weiner's weiner and then goes on to show 10 more pictures much more shocking than Weiners. Please take a deep breath and check out this article, it puts things back into perspective, and please note that I've said the word "weiner" five times in one paragraph. And isn't it supposed to be spelled "wiener?" Enough of this.
- What happens when a politician's entire staff fires him? It occurs to us lately that we liberals don't really need Sarah Palin for comic relief this political season, there's plenty more to laugh at, for example dear pudgy, square-headed Newt Gingrich. This delightful little fellow has gone to new depths just to please his adoring fans, and his entire staff decided to just up and quit on him. But Newt promises to keep going, and I for one am resoundingly pleased with that decision. Thanks, Newt!
- He's been elected Governor of Texas three times, mainstream Conservatives AND tea baggers both love him, and Glenn Beck even said one time he'd like to "french kiss" him. Yes, it's Rick "Big Hair" Perry, and he's thinking of running for President. Gawd I wish Molly Ivins was still with us. Here's ten reasons we should keep a wary eye on this bozo.
- This just in: Rick "Please Don't Google Me" Santorum announced Monday he's running for President in 2012. People, I am not making this stuff up. This is not the script for a new sitcom on Comedy Central. This is reality TV Baby, and if you can't handle it, then just go to bed and pull the covers over your head. Insert big smiley face here.
- Now if this WAS a script for a new fall sitcom, one about clueless, rich, idiots running hopeless campaigns for President of the United States, it wouldn't be complete without someone like Michelle Bachmann. Hey, how about Michelle Bachmann herself?
(Know what I find amazing about the newspaper that magically appears on my doorstep every morning before dawn? well I'm going to tell you. All the news that happens every day just happens to fit neatly right into that paper. Yep. No more, no less. It's amazing. And the stories. Oh the stories. Like today for instance. In just a quick scan of a few minutes this morning we read of a bar in Paris that the owner has turned into some kind of shrine to Jim Morrison and The Doors, and who is now being sued by a Beverly Hills attorney who warns in a letter that "The Doors do not want to be seen as having approved of your establishment and also the consumption of alcohol." We all know Morrison didn't approve of the consumtion of alcohol, don't we? I also learned that drug lords in Mexico have taken to wearing Polo shirts, and now all the street venders are selling them like hot tacos to everyone. We all want to look like a Mexican drug lord, don't we? And I also read that Tony Packo's, the corner bar in Toledo, Ohio that Max Klinger on M.A.S.H. said was the best place in the world to go for a Hungarian hot dog, might close down over some family financial dispute. I hope it doesn't. Where then would we go to find the best hot dog in the world? Feel free to E-mail me with your suggestions. But I digress ... ) 
1 comment:
"He's been elected Governor of Texas three times............" "..we should keep a wary eye on this bozo."
Gosh, I wonder why we should keep a wary eye on this bozo?
I will personally send the link to our editor to distribute to the faithful.
"Using Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) data, Dallas Fed economists looked at state-by-state employment changes since June 2009, when the recession ended. Texas added 265,300 net jobs, out of the 722,200 nationwide, and by far outpaced every other state. New York was second with 98,200, Pennsylvania added 93,000, and it falls off from there. Nine states created fewer than 10,000 jobs, while Maine, Hawaii, Delaware and Wyoming created fewer than 1,000. Eighteen states have lost jobs since the recovery began.
The data are even more notable because they're calculated on a "sum of states" basis, which the BLS does not use because they can have sampling errors. Using straight nonfarm payroll employment, Texas accounts for 45% of net U.S. job creation. Modesty is not typically considered a Texas virtue, but the results speak for themselves."
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