Weekend Update - Ides of March Edition

• Thinking of uplifting your spirits about the sagging economy? Looking for something to do this weekend that'll get you back in the groove? Well, don't go shopping. You may be the only person in the store. Mark Morford reports.


• You know just the other day I was hanging out at Starbucks, and I was saying "Gee, $787,000,000,000 just doesn't sound like enough to get this economy back on track. I think we're gonna need more..." Where does this madness end?


• Darth Cheney came out of his Death Star and criticized President Obama. Shouldn't the Dickster be in jail?


• Pardon me, but this is goddamned ridiculous. The American International Group, which has received more than $170 billion in taxpayer bailout money from the Treasury and Federal Reserve, plans to pay about $165 million in bonuses by Sunday to executives in the same business unit that brought the company to the brink of collapse last year. In most civilized countries, these people would be lined up against a wall and shot.


• This is the stuff that makes bloggers cheer. Remember Pat Boone? The all-too-white idiot who kept trying to re-do Little Richard songs? He's not just getting old, he's losing his mind. Check out this bizarre story.


• While we enjoy a couple strips of bacon as well as the next person, maybe it's time we paid attention to where that bacon comes from. "Pimples from hell...?" Ohmygawd.