Weekend Update - Bad Ideas Edition

(We must start this off this week with some not-so-good news.  Our man Keith Olbermann has once again become unemployed.  This time Current TV, and it's owner-operators former Vice President Al Gore and Joel Hyatt abruptly fired his maverick ass.  Keith hadn't been too happy with the Current staff who worked with his program.  Apparently there were many mistakes, miscues, and faulty set operations.  And apparently Gore and Hyatt weren't too happy with our man's attendance, and knowing Keith, probably his attitude in general. At any rate, it ended badly.  We hope Keith will be back soon, somewhere.  Until then he will be sorely missed by Progressives, and his absence will be greatly appreciated by Conservatives.  But we sadly digress ...)

Tattoos Can Be a Bad Idea

• Have you heard anything about a political movement called "Americans Elect?"  NYT's op-ed columnist Gail Collins says Americans Elect is " a new-generation political movement that aims to rise above the petty forces of partisan bickering and choose a presidential candidate, along with a running mate from a different party, at an online convention in June."  Ms. Collins thinks it's all a terrible idea.  Here's "Time to Elect the Worst Idea."
• Apparently, and unfortunately, the media storm concerning on-air remarks by Big Fat Drug Addict Rush Limbaugh has died down to a dull roar, and El Rushit himself says he's "energized" by the whole experience.  At least, and hopefully, he'll maybe think twice before he starts calling politically active college students "sluts."  Then again, probably not.
• Mark Morford says of Rick Santorum:  "Rick is about as much of a threat to the attuned way of life as flea is to a pack of wolves. You only worry about him the way you worry about an errant wart on your elbow, the one you only notice when you lean in to watch "True Blood" on your laptop and you go, "Oh right, I need to get that dry little nub excised, pronto," and then you go back to enjoying all the other good things in life -- which, when compared to Rick Santorum, is pretty much everything."  He then continues to list the rest of 10 Things You Need Not Worry About.
• Spending your hard earned money on lottery tickets is a really bad idea.  This one is called Mega Millions, and the odds of winning are horrible.  Unless you win, that is.  Three lucky ticket holders in Maryland, Illinois and Kansas will share a $656 million prize, the largest lottery jackpot in U.S. history.  If you're counting, that's 218.7 million a piece.  Something like that would put you in the 1%er group and might make you vote Republican.  I think I'd almost rather stay poor and Liberal.  (I said almost)
• Of course it's always a bad idea to vote Republican, but have you ever wondered why so many of your Conservative friends (you have Conservative friends, don't you?) vote directly against their own self interests?  We've noted that very fact right here many times over the years, and we still haven't figured out an answer.  Well here's a treat:  Poet Phil Rockstroh of Consortium News says he encounters many such confused souls in his native South, and it's a really good read.  "Nature of Self-Defeating Convictions."

They Say It's My Birthday

On this auspicious occasion of the forty sixth anniversary of my twenty first birthday, the boy and I head north to the big city of Portlandia.  We'll be back in a few days.  In the mean time stay vigilent, keep the wolves away from the door, and by all means don't let the bastards get you down.

Cheney Has Heart Installed, Apologizes for Everything

• Of course the biggest news of last weekend was Dick (Darth) Cheney having a heart installed in his body.  Apparently the cost of batteries to keep this automaton active was getting out of hand.  Rumor has it that Cheney's first words after awakening from the operation were "OMG I'm so sorry for everything I did."  And an added note, guess who paid for this 71-year-old douche bag's implant?  Go on, take a guess.
• Those nutcakes from the fringe, "The Birthers,"  are back in the news this week.  Seems they want proof of citizenship not from Obama this time, but from Mitt Romney.  Yep, seriously.  One birther explains that Romney's citizenship is up for debate because his dad was born in Mexico. You see, Mitt Romney's father was born in the Mexican colony that Mitt's great-grandfather founded after fleeing the United States so he could stay married to Romney's four great-grandmothers.  I'll wait while you digest that bit of information.
• Finally, here it is:  The Republican Budget, Explained.
• Have you ever found yourself, accidentally or otherwise, arguing a point about politics or what's good for this country with a Republican?  If so, I'm sure you've felt the frustration of trying to make an intelligent point while your GOPer is frantically changing the subject and throwing obscure and questionable "facts" at you until you finally have to just give up.  Here's an article that'll help you immensely the next time: The Seven Types of Republican Idiots.
• Some people say that the reason they don't smoke marijuana is because it makes them paranoid when they're stoned.  I can understand that, I suppose, if you really have something to be paranoid about in the first place, like Republicans.  Now I'm not saying that all Republicans are stoned.  I'm just saying they all seem to be paranoid.  Paul Krugman can explain it better than I.  "Paranoia Strikes Deeper."

Grabbing Reality Around the Throat

Okay, so now I'm retired and I've got to watch the pennies and where they're all going.  Can't afford to splurge too much on fun stuff like ... well, like food.  Now listen to me.  I'm not proud of this decision, but it's one I feel I had to make for the good of my monthly budget.  By the way, did you know you have to pay taxes on your Social Security benefits?  Did you know you have to pay taxes on your freaking pension, ferheaven'sake?  What a load, right?  At any rate, I think we need to tighten our collective belts around here a little, and make some sacrifices.  And if I have to go against everything I've ever preached, and everything I've ever adhered to as a responsible human being, for the sake of my family who wants to go to Disney World this summer we. must. do. this.

I'm going shopping at Walmart.

Oh get up off the floor and sit back down in your chair.  I know I've been on a personal crusade against Walmart (previously known here as "Mallwart") and I really haven't changed my position too terribly much on the subject, but c'mon, we gotta be real here.  It's just a store, right?  Okay, sure, most all of their stuff is manufactured in Chinese sweat shops and "shadow factories," and if it wasn't for Walmart the Chinese economy would probably collapse (just made that one up). But the prices at Walmart are cheaper than anywhere else.  Aren't they?

Okay, so Walmart stores are huge. I mean huge.  The Walmart store I'm going to be going to for the first time in my life is located in West Eugene and is about 4 blocks long.  The parking lot could be favorably compared to a major airport's.  It's definitely not a place to drop in after work and get a loaf a bread and a gallon of milk.  It's a place to go and buy a month's worth of food.  I hope it's not all Chinese food.

I'll keep you posted.

Random Good/Weird Stuff From the Internet

• Have you been feeling it, too? The heat of recent media attention? The sour breath of bland, conservative evil on your nicely tattooed neck? Perhaps you've noticed. Sluts and sex, gays and deviants, perverts and hippies, yoga teachers and tattooed miscreants have been in the news a lot recently. More than usual, even. And that's saying something.  Mark Morford reports on the sad state of the"once noble" GOP.
• If you’re a liberal or a progressive these days, you could be forgiven for being baffled and frustrated by conservatives. Their views and actions seem completely alien to us—or worse. From cheering at executions, to wanting to “throw up” over church-state separation, to seeking to “drown” government “in the bathtub” (except when it is cracking down on porn, apparently) conservatives not only seem very different, but also very inconsistent. Here's a fascinating read concerning the differences between conservative and progressive morality. "How the Right-Wing Brain Works and What That Means for Progressives."
• Afghanistan.  Why on Earth are we still there?  Maureen Dowd asks that same question in this well written piece, "Heart of Darkness."
• Oh those pesky Catholics.  Shocking reports have surfaced that reveal at least ten teenage boys were castrated in the 1950s by the Dutch Roman Catholic Church as a "treatment" for homosexuality, the Telegraph reports.  Someone should ask Rick Santorum how much this report turns him on.
•  "There are laws against purveying hard-core pornography. And that—we have attorney generals in the country, at least under the Bush administration, who did prosecute that. And this administration isn't. And I simply said I would follow the law, which I know in the case of Barack Obama can be somewhat of a hefty challenge for him, but we're going to do it as president."  That's a quote from Rick Santorum.  I guess Rick thought he should one-up Newt Gingrich who promised that if elected he'd bring gasoline prices down to $2.00 a gallon.  So now Rick says he'll wipe out hard core pornography.  Someone should promise, that if elected, every boy and girl in America will receive a pony on their 13th birthday.

We're All Bozos On This Bus

• Back in the 80's there was a secret language some of us were using and it consisted of strange utterances such as "more sugar!" and "aren't we all yearning for a little stopping power?"  Well, it was called Firesign Theater, and one of the great founders of it all died the other day, Peter Bergman.  The group's record albums rate number one on my list of funniest things I've ever heard, especially the classic "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers."  Maybe you had to be there, but damn it was great if you were.
• Garry Trudeau's beautiful comic tribute to sanity, "Doonesbury," has been running re-runs in our local newspaper and others all over the nation all of last week because of the subject matter.  Seems it might upset some people.  They should make it mandatory by law to read it.  Click here for the missing week's strips.
• And along the same vein, Mark Morford revs up his brain cells to explain Rick Santorum and his minions of evil.  "You might say Rick Santorum is the lesser of three evils. But that's not exactly true -- he's actually just the most blandly reliable of three evils. He's your standard-issue, card-carrying bigot, a dimestore homophobe and misogynist par excellence who is actually quite consistent in his shocking sociopolitical illiteracy."  He's dangerously close to summing up the entire Republican list of candidates.
• We talk about the "Death Tax" and not the proper term, "Estate Tax." Two little words—"Death Panels"—were capable of nearly derailing the best thing that's happened to health insurance in this country in decades. Harvard-educated President Obama is universally considered "elite," while Yale-educated George W. Bush is considered "down home."  Here from AlterNet is 5 Words And Phrases Democrats Should Never Say Again.

Hello and Goodbye

Friday was a grand day. The Wednesday before was my last actual day working, which, after 42 years of doing it, was an eventful and emotional day.  But Friday was grand.  There was a rather large crowd of retirees and employees, some say the largest one so far, and it all went extremely well.  Wonderful things were said, memories were shared, a few tears shed; but the most amazing thing happened.  The Duck showed up.  Yes, THE Duck.  The Oregon Duck mascot, the one you see on TV at all the games, the one that does all those pushups every time Oregon scores.  That one.  Not only did The Duck hug me, he dropped down and gave us 42 pushups, the last one being a one-armed one.  And what was even more fun, after being prompted by many of us in the room, he gave a warm hug to three of the most staunch Oregon State Beavers fans in the company, to the delight and hoots of all.  All that, and very kind words said about me, and three cakes.  Like I said, it was a grand day.

Photo by Jerry Paulsen

I handed out quite a few of newly minted "retired" business cards with the address of Bad Hat on them, so I assume our readership will be going up.  And because of that I'd like to welcome our new readers and hope you have a good time here.  Bad Hat has been a love of mine since 2007.  Uncle Bob Winslow and I started it basically to keep ourselves relatively sane during the Bush administration, and opened it up for all to read when we heard it was helping others cope with that disaster which was called Dubya.  We have a moderately large audience of regular readers now, and although I've let them down for the last few months as my mind wandered elsewhere, I have pledged to expand the scope and frequency of posting here at Bad Hat now that I'm retired with much more time on my hands.  Other people have and will contribute to this venture.  Arthur in Marin County, a bit of a world traveler and astute observer of the political scene is a regular contributor, and any of you may do the same if you have something intelligent to say.  Feel free to comment anytime.  And don't forget to click on all the links.  If it looks like this, click on it.

I received a lot of cards along with the good wishes and they were wonderful, but one message typed on a piece of paper really touched me, and I'd like to share it with you.  It's from our great friend, co-worker, and fellow Bad Hatter Steve and the words touched me deeply.

Thank you for the things you've said, done, implied and shared across the years.
I have always known how difficult it is to be a really good operator, the irony being that the better you are the easier it looks.  You, my friend made it look like child's play.
I am one of the many fans you've accumulated during your tenure.  We all learned by your thoughtful ability to dance on the mind fields and look beyond the madness.
Whenever it all became too much, you shared a laugh with us, but it never came at our expense.
Thank you for setting the example for us to stretch to be better and more human.  You carried yourself as if it made sense to do so, even when it could not be easily explained.
Now you can E.P. Rush at your own chosen pace.  Remember to breathe and enjoy.  You've earned it.

Thanks Steve, and thanks to all of you for all the memories.

p.s. thanks to Jerry and Cheri' for camping here from Oregon City to keep my head clear and knees stable for the weekend, and a special thanks to Pam for organizing The Duck's visit.  I love you guys!



JP

Weekend Update - Jerks We Know and Love Edition

(It occurred to me the other day as I sat here nursing a cup of coffee, watching a complete year of seasons past by outside, rain/sleet/snow/sunshine, all in the space of an hour, that Oregon is a very unique place to live.  It's spring, damn near, and apparently we've survived another winter.   I eagerly await the end of my life as-I-know-it, as this Wednesday is my last day of gainful employment, and I find myself approaching all this with a bit of anxiety.  Except for a brief period in 1969 I've never been without a job to go to every morning.  I think after I get the boy to school on Thursday, I'm going to sit at the window with my coffee and mutter something like "now what?"  Well, I guess we'll find out.  One thing I do intend to do is revamp and enlarge the scope of Bad Hat, as well as increase the frequency of entries.  And if I truly run out of things to do, I've always got the garage.  It's a mess.  But I digress ...)

• Caught "Game Change" on HBO last night and was quite pleased with the movie.  I was pleased they didn't go overboard trying to make Sarah Palin look like a fool.  She was obviously a very driven woman thrust into a situation very few people on Earth could handle, but I was rather astounded at the depth of her lack of knowledge about how the world was run.  Plus: Woody Harrelson should end up with some sort of award for his performance.  Catch this one, or TVO it if at all possible.
• I suppose while we're here we should mention that Big Fat Drug Addict Rush Limbaugh.  I'm sure most of you have heard the latest on his Viagra-induced rant against Sandra Fluke, a young lady testifying in favor of including birth control in women's health care.  Apparently this enraged El Rushbo to the point of him calling her a "slut," and a "prostitute," and calling for her to post tapes of herself having sex on the Internet "so we can all watch."  Well now.  It seems that his Blowhardedness has really put his foot in it this time.  Could this be the end of Rush Limbaugh (at long last, Rush, have you no decency?) as we know it?  One can only hope. And here's the latest concerning Mr. Limbaugh, a gift that just keeps on giving:  CLICK HERE
• Rick Santorum claims that higher education is a threat to faith, which is false.  He also claims that because President Obama wants every child to have the opportunity to get that higher education, Obama's a "snob."  (snif snif)  Check out this once again outstanding column by Paul Krugman entitled "Ignorance Is Strength."
• Mitt Romney once drove to Canada with the family Irish setter on the roof of the car.  It was really ugly.  Here's the whole story.  Caution: It's ugly. 
• Mark Morford:  Let me just ask you outright: Are you a bit of a thug? Do you like to shoot very large animals for no real reason and then hug their massive carcasses to your body in what many feel is a rather disturbing and vaguely bestiality-friendly manner as your BFF snaps a photo of your shameless, mile-wide smirk and posts it for all the world to cringe over?  If this describes you, Marford calls you an "Option One."  He's talking about people like Limbaugh and Breitbart and others.  "How To Be a Complete Jerk About It."