As I get older, I seem to reach a new level of curmudgeory every day. Things and occasions that I used to just shrug off, are now beginning to, as my Dear Uncle would say, "raise the hackles on my back." I am becoming a natural curmudgeon; I understand now why cats hiss and dogs growl. I suppose as with any situation in life, there are multiple reasons for this life change in me; natural aging (approaching 70); having to sit down to accomplish normal activities, i.e. putting on my pants, peeing in the middle of the night, etc., and of course my habit of reading the damn newspaper every morning. I thought you would be interested (and why the hell wouldn't you?) in a few of the things that piss me off, not necessarily in order.
- Cats. These are the domesticated(?) house pets who, in spite of hours and hours of personal counseling and gentle guidance, still do not understand the significance of the "Litter Box." We have a cat, one who my wife occasionally reminds me is "even older than you," who delights in doing his business just INCHES from his own personal litter box, cleaned and raked daily like some sort of Japanese sand garden. Ever try to discipline a cat?
- The Big Sports People In Charge. Can someone tell me WHY baseball great Pete Rose has been permanently banned from Hall of Fame consideration, while the freaking idiot Michael Vic is still allowed to play football for the Eagles? Apparently, boys and girls, it's okay to strangle dogs with your bare hands, just as long as you don't bet on a game ...
- Republicans. Well you knew this one was going to be in here, didn't you? But not all Republicans piss me off. Just the ones who are gloating and grunting and pointing their stumpy little fingers at Obama for occasionally acting almost as bad as Dubya. What?
- Ball Point Pens. I'm talking about the ball point pens that you pick up to sign something with, and you absolutely have to find some OTHER piece of paper to scribble some squiggle of graffiti to make sure the stupid thing will write. Think of the poor defenseless scraps of paper thrown away every day, simply because they were forced to be a test subject for a stupid pen.
- George Zimmerman. That one probably goes without saying.
- The True Entitlement Class. Righties love to bitch about food stamp families and welfare Cadillac drivers, but the true "entitlement" assholes are the idiots who drive their convertible Mercedes down from the hills who think they are entitled to park ANYWHERE they feel like, like an Applebee's Curbside space, and go inside to eat while those of us who are there to pick up our meager meal have to park somewhere else and walk ALL THE WAY over to the Curbside office to get our stuff. (Okay, that one was kinda specific, but it really pisses me off.)
- Thank you. I feel somehow better.
